Complex Vertigo site updates
In the last couple of days, I have made a few enhancements for this blog starting with the Snap ShotsTM feature of snap.com that gives a preview of all that I link via a pseudo-popup. It could either be convenient or annoying which for me is more of the former. Hover your pointer to one of the links on this post and see what this nifty feature is. I have also enlisted as a volunteer beta-tester for Criteo's AutoRoll feature thereby increasing this site's visibility to about more than 2,000 other websites that generating a measly 1 hit back this month. Someone in Criteo requested me to try it out and, if their claim holds true, the blogroll would update itself in 10 days and give out a list that is more or less related to my content. Interesting.
The previous week, I have also made good use of the Multiply account I originally created to PWN a plagiarizing noob of a schoolgirl that I caught (publishing an old album review I made) using CopyScape. The nerve of stealing something so poorly written! Pft! Anyway, Multiply will now host my online photo-gallery needs.
For other cyber matters, I have been reacquainting my again-found affinity to the Man-Blog, albeit only in the forums. Meeting up with the monkeys at least proved they are not AI beings with maxed-out retardation levels. The discussions on the forums also continue via Twitter, a web community of sorts that gets to update you upon sign in what everyone else you are following is doing via the "tweets" that you receive through SMS.
I now dare say that I undoubtedly am a man of the interwebs. Still in puberty, but getting there.
Labels: Blogging, Plugs, Practical Stuff
Alanis' Lady Lumps. Checkitawt!
This is just too good to not blog and embed and show. An unfreakinbelievable remake that would make you cry in lieu of the bump-bump-bump. How could a song like this end up sounding so tragic and sad? That's Alanis to you! Now shut up and just watch. Thanks vwb for the tip, yo!
[EDIT] I got questions as to how BEP reacted to the parody and I'm too lazy to do a thorough search but from this link right here, it says Fergie sent Alanis flowers and calls her "brilliant."
Originally here via YouTube.
Read on reactions here from Slate.com.
.
Labels: Music
The ultimate superpower you'd wanna have
Zhan: I think I'd have the power of telekinesis and flight because those two powers are not that common, really.
Fritz (think): not THAT common? watda?!?!
Fritz: Mine would be just one: glossolalia.
Zhan: How does that manifest?
Fritz: It's like when I speak, my audience hears me in the language they are accustomed to. If I have a French, a German, a native Cebuano in front of me, they all hear me in their native tongue simultaneously.
Zhan: awesoooooommmmeeee! That beats telekinesis anytime!
Fritz: That means I could talk to the roaches in my flat to leave the house before I spray insecticide. Give them a warning of sorts because I don't like killing things including insects. That means I don't have to sweep away upturned carcasses the morning after. Also, I'd go and convince dust mites to leave my mattress unless they want their colony annihilated. The bug-free home I call Utopia. And...
Zhan: zzzzz.... *snort*
--------------------------Right about now, six months after the dialogue above, I want a second power. I want to induce diarrhea to anyone at will. The victim would experience the whole package accompanying this very uncomfortable fit. Abdominal pain, weakness of the limbs, dizziness, nausea, vomiting, unease. The works.
Let's say someone like a very annoying
fuckface goes to me at work and says:
Fuckface: You mean to say that the Notary Public requires the affiant to be
present when they notarize the document?
Fritz: Yes.
Fuckface: When did this new rule suddenly come into play?!
Fritz: I believe it had always been the case. If everyone would follow the "present" clause in the legal document then everyone is required to appear personally to the Notary Public.
Fuckface: I had never appeared in from of a Notary Public my entire life! Maybe they do not want to earn easy cash.
Fritz (think): Screw you assholic, muthafucking cunt-face! If I weren't wearing this goody-facade and shit, I'd be hurling your ass out of this building through my window, you sarcastic stupid punk! You make me wanna puke!
Fritz (say): Probably... and sorry for the inconvenience.
Had I had the diarrhea-inducing power, the scenario would have happened this way:
Enter FuckFace, stage right...
Fuckface: You mean to say that...
Fritz (think): Di-ar-rhe-a-sis-bum-ba!
Fuckface: awwwooooohhhh... that hurts...
Fritz (say): ...
The stress-free work place is suddenly rid of assholes, albeit momentarily.
This power could be as complex depending on your targets. Have it a go with daredevils on the highway, passengers in the
jeepney or
FX who just couldn't shut up their trap, stalkers, office posers, annoying politicians while they're on stage during
pre-election, sleazy bystanders, stupid traffic enforcers, dumb TV personalities, your neighbor's pet that just shat on your front door, and know-it-
alls who really know nothing at all. The list could go on and on and on. Add to it. Feel free.
Life is good again.
.Labels: Humor
Sulat ni Nanay at Tatay sa Atin
Work has caught up with me at last. I was gearing for a longer head start. Far enough so it could not grab my ankle and hold me down my office chair in front of the PC on weekends to labour on unfinished tasks which are all equally urgent. I was mistaken. It took work three months. Three months before it had both my hands tied helplessly to my back as it whispered in a coarse sad voice, "you can't run far enough for long. What made you think you could?" It was good enough, though. Three months.
Having said that, and having hopefully had an aweful good enough alibi not to write anything of substance of late, I give you something that you may have a piece at, if you haven't already read it. It touched my heart and I hope it does yours. It was said to have been written by a certain Rev. Fr. Ariel F. Robles, CWL Spiritual Director of the St. Augustine Parish in Baliuag, Bulacan.
Sulat ni Nanay at Tatay sa Atin
Sa aking pagtanda, unawain mo sana ako at
pagpasensyahan. Kapag dala ng kalabuan ng mata ay
nakabasag ako ng pinggan o nakatapon ng sabaw sa hapag
kainan, huwag mo sana akong kagagalitan. Maramdamin
ang isang matanda. Nagse-self-pity ako a tuwing
sisigawan mo ako.
Kapag mahina na ang tenga ko at hindi ko maintindihan
ang sinasabi mo, huwag mo naman sana akong sabihan ng
"binge!" paki-ulit nalang ang sinabi mo o pakisulat
nalang. Pasensya ka na, anak. Matanda na talaga ako.
Kapag mahina na tuhod ko, pagtiyagaan mo sana akong
tulungang tumayo, katulad ng pag-aalalay ko sa iyo
noong nag-aaral ka pa lamang lumakad.
Pagpasensyahan mo sana ako kung ako man ay nagiging
makulit at paulit ulit na parang sirang plaka. Basta
pakinggan mo nalang ako. Huwag mo sana akong
pagtatawanan o pagsasawaang pakinggan. Natatandaan mo
anak noong bata ka pa? kapag gusto mo ng
lobo, paulit-ulit mo 'yong sasabihin, maghapon kang
mangungulit hangga't hindi mo nakukuha ang gusto mo.
Pinagtiyagaan ko ang kakulitan mo.
Pagpasensyahan mo na rin sana ang aking amoy. Amoy
matanda, amoy lupa. Huwag mo sana akong piliting
maligo. Mahina na ang katawan ko. Madaling magkasakit
kapag nalamigan, huwag mo sana akong pandirihan.
Natatandaan mo noong bata ka pa? pinagtiyagaan kitang
habulin sa ilalim ng kama kapag ayaw mong maligo.
Pagpasensyahan mo sana kung madalas, ako'y masungit,
dala na marahil ito ng katandaan. Pagtanda mo,
maiintindihan mo rin.
Kapag may konti kang panahon, magkwentohan naman tayo,
kahit sandali lang. inip na ako sa bahay, maghapong
nag-iisa. Walang kausap. Alam kong busy ka sa trabaho,
subalit nais kong malaman mo na sabik na sabik na
akong makakwentohan ka, kahit alam kong hindi ka
interesado sa mga kwento ko. Natatandaan mo anak,
noong bata ka pa? Pinagtiyagaan kong pakinggan at
intindihin ang pautal-utal mong kwento tungkol sa
iyong teddy bear.
At kapag dumating ang sandali na ako'y magkakasakit at
maratay sa banig ng karamdaman, huwga mo sana akong
pagsawaan alagaan. Pagpasensyahan mo n asana kung ako
man ay maihi o madumi sa higaan, pagtiyagaan mo sana
akong alagaan sa mga huling sandali ng aking buhay.
Tutal hindi na naman ako magtatagal.
Kapag dumating ang sandali ng aking pagpanaw, hawakan
mo sana ang aking kamay at bigyan mo ako ng lakas ng
loob na harapin ang kamatayan.
At huwag kang mag-alala, kapag kaharap ko na ang Diyos
na lumikha, ibubulong ko sa kanya na pagapalain ka
sana ... dahil naging mapagmahal ka sa iyong ama't ina...
Sometimes a lot of us forget. At least this here could remind me should I forget yet again. Thanks Rose F. for the email.
Labels: Emo, Memoir
