We have all seen the Joy dishwashing liquid commercial that claims to have the most washed plates per single pack sachet. We have also heard of the record breaking simultaneous kiss-off at what seems to be an annual tradition at Close Up's Lovapalooza (if I ever got the spelling of this word wrong, I don't and won't give a shit so don't bother correcting). Now, we have on Yahoo! News something equally mind-numbing. The country, by pooling an amazing 10,800 strong headcount comprised of gradeschool students from several schools in Metro Manila, tries to dethrone China of its 10,240 world record on "simultaneous brush-off." The pitiful children are taken alongside the Baywalk area, assuming this is what Yahoo purports to be the seaside Manila park area, to simultaneously brush their teeth to also promote the fight against tooth decay.
Ok.
I give you guys a weak, non heart-felt, Go, team Philippines! shoutout.
If I were a parent and my kid was dragged for this cause over a weekend, I don't know. I may just have to shout at the organizers for pulling something like this. It's not even worth a single bragging right for the individual participant! Neither can they later put it on their rèsumès.
Pathetic.
Photo from Yahoo! News from the Associated Press
Underworld Evolution and the MTRCB
Watching Underworld Evolution and liking it is one thing. Seeing how its artistry got lambasted by the way MTRCB took out portions of it just so the movie could fall under its classification of R-13 (you read it right, an R-13 rating that in itself is a hybrid of sorts) is just so damn irritating that I wished I were a vampire who could suck the blood off the veins of those tasteless bastards. I'll milk their arteries dry, I tell you, and spit the blood right out not wanting my innards to be tainted by something that did once flow inside those shameful officials who sees it fit to claim that the righteous way to rid the world of violence is to zap portions off some great movies. Portions that are mostly tantamount to the film's overall aesthetic appeal that could range from small facets like a dialogue or a segue between scenes or an entire portion where a character shows some flesh. Underworld Evolution got an R-rating in the US, as it would have in most if the world, for "pervasive strong violence and gore, some sexuality/nudity and language".
I have this idea, and, MTRCB officials, should you happen to read this bit right here, please do so with an open mind. This country is not entirely made up of people who adore slapstick comedy in prime time television nor are the only people watching movies avid followers of irritatingly predictable film plots in the likeness of your hailed Exodus. There are others, albeit a few, who long for intellectual masturbation every once in a while via well-made, unadulterated international films whose plot and screenplay reign far superior that what we could locally come up with. By lightyears when you measure the distance from point A to B. It's an awful shame that I would admit to inferiority since we are all about being patriotic and nationalistic. I was itching to write something since the local regulatory board and the whole local movie industry (it seems) are busy making and letting the masses patronize (without much of a choice) works that are mostly, and without a doubt, simply appalling. Ghastly, even. And if those words tend to come through to you as some higher-level-intellect-requiring vocabulary, then butt-ugly would do just fine. It would serve my purpose all the same.
A win-win proposition is what I suggest: that you rate the films fairly and with consideration to the amount of work those producers and directors pooled together to give us a glimpse of different worlds, a heightened level of entertainment, and a taste of genius, with a budget that's far ranging than what local production outfits would willingly shell out. Should you probably find the content of certain films violent or vulgar or sexually explicit, slap it with an X-rating. Justify your actions with strong points and stand for the standards you yourselves have set. That way, you get to show off by playing your role as guardians with unwavering conviction while we, the viewers, get the whole deal in screenplay when we go off and pay for a seat in the cinema. Now, if the movie does not meet any of your standards, at least give it some dignity by doing quality edits on to it. However, compare the flow of thought and watch both edited and unedited segments, one after the other, several times if need be. Be sure to give the viewers something palatable. Not some half-chewed rubbish unfit for human consumption. Have the interest of the people at heart.
You see, the audience have become mature. Whether you like it or not, most of us have evolved, unlike the regressed members of your board. We can differentiate right from wrong, fact from fiction, and made-up worlds that may never ever happen. We know that painting latex over bodies for kinks could kill, like that episode at CSI. We know that lycans, um, well, we really don't know for sure. No one could really tell. Point is, let the viewers decide for themselves and, more importantly, let us be entertained. An idle mind could wreck havoc and you wouldn't want us movie-less souls ganging up to create a cult, now, would you?
Respect, compadres. It all boils down to this simple virtue. Something that couldn't be attained overnight but earned in time. Act respectable and the people would well give something when it becomes due.
Come to think of it, I might be bitch-slapping MTRCB when the blame should be on the people responsible for putting in the sequential reels over at the Greenbelt 3 cinema where we watched the movie. But MTRCB's in deep shit over the lame job they're playing that it's much, a thousand fold over, more gratifying to throw rotten tomatoes at them. It's a shame that I am planning to get myself some pirated DVDs just so I could get the full experience of what, IMHO, is a great sequel.
You have put this on yourselves so you musn't wonder why some people resort to piracy.
Poster from http://www.movieweb.com/movies/
For the love of wall climbing
The only thing that made me bolt upright from bed, after experiencing severe sore throat from the wee morning hours until noontime today, was the realization that since I had my leave of absence the entire day, I might as well make somthing off it by getting the chalk ball I've been meaning to have since I got myself a chalk bag. I did not even have second thoughts and my slight fever didn't stop me. I just have to get my hands on some chalk balls so climbing could be more fun. It sounds lame, I know, but anything that gives me renewed strength in times of sickness better be worth the hassle.
We've experienced several shortages of chalk balls from Play Underground at the Rockwell and it really afftected the way we managed the wall routes. Well, it affected mine mostly. You see, I have sweaty hands. This phenomenon manifests itself when I'm excited, exerting effort, and over a ledge slightly above ground-level where I could see the ground. It also shows when I know I'm in a slightly elevated area even if I couldn't see the ground from where I'm at. The sensation is coupled with some prickly sensation on the soles of my feet. You may call it altophobia, acrophobia, or batophobia or plainly being afraid of heights (for your full list of fears or phobia, visit www.phobialist.com).
I'm a masochist, I know. I subject myself to one of my greatest fears every week without fail. At a certain point of each climb, you could reach the top of the third level parking area of the Rockwell. Bear in mind that you have to look down each time you reach the top to give a sign to your belaying partner that you are done and that you'd like to be brought back to the ground. Funny thing is, as you are way up touching the last rock hold while looking down, you do not really feel afraid anymore. Weird but entirely true. Try it yourself if you haven't yet.
Going back to my chalk balls, which I got for a cheap P25 each, I'm already liking them. As the attendant at Power Up in Pasig gave me my prized babies, only then did it occur to me that these balls are entirely filled with chalk which I should have already known judging by the way it is called. Actually, I was thinking they are made up of balled-up cloth or something that you immerse in loose chalk everytime you want to use them. Upon close scrutinity, I have learned that these chalk balls are made by filling nylon stockings up with loose chalk and tying them by their ends so they could resemble a ball (refer to picture). Each ball is about 3 inches in diameter.
I got lost in the Pasig area, the place where Power Up is (it's at Capitolio and you take the same entrance as when you are going to Rizal Gym or the city hall). After several phone-a-friends, I finally found it (click here to get a list of all wall climbing gyms in the Philippines courtesy of scapi.org). All the trouble paid off. And it gets better.
Shangri La Mall is in the area and I decided to take a peek and I got to buy some stuff as most stores inside were having a lot of their inventory on sale (up to 50% off for Replay and even up to 70% off for Debenhams).
All is good. Made my bad, sick day a lot better.
Canon in D
The title does not at all refer to the most popular musical composition of Johann Pachelbel. The "D" here actually stands for "Deep-Shit" (it should be D.S., then, you may argue. But you are not the author. I am. And in this part of cyber space, my rules apply. Let my will be done). Yes, Canon, the maker of your great digicams, is in a real deep one with regards to their International Warranty Policy. Read on and let me share my personal experience.
I usually end my written letter to the Bureau of Internal Revenue, back in the days when I defended clients on deficiency tax assessments, with a sentence that has, "request your kind office for the case represented in the foregoing to be permanently closed and terminated." Irony in words. Coupled with sufficiently strong facts, figures, and hard evidence, the work done to come up with a contra-allegation could take weeks to months. The effort is thus summed in that last sentence, which could have read, "change your style of bloating your assessment figures, assholes! We do our job correctly now fix yours!"
This day marks the 14th working day from when I first filed by email complaint to three Canon offices (Taiwan, Singapore, and the Philippines) on an incident that arose when I had my Canon digicam fixed. I have already given out a gist in the middle part of a previous post. Read that post first if you want to follow my drift.
Last Friday, I got a call from Monique N. of Canon Marketing (Philippines), Inc. She told me that my camera had a foreign object inside the SD card slot and that they already removed it. I instinctively asked how much the service would cost me. She said not to worry as it's free of charge and that I should just look for her, Monique, when I decide to drop by their office to claim my camera. You must understand that the line queued in their service center is usually unusually long. I got a #71 when I went there at lunch time on Friday and they were still serving #58. Excited as I was on getting my camera, I forgot to jot down Monique's name when she called (struggling to remember if it was Me-Ann, Michelle, or something that definitely has an "M") so I did not know who to approach, contenting myself to having a seat in the waiting area, deciding there's nothing I could do but wait until my number is called.
Luckily, a kindly lady asked around for customers who were only there to claim their serviced units. I handed over my job order and she introduced herself as Monique and that she was the person who called me up earlier. I stood up and exchanged pleasantries seconds before she ushered me inside their office which is quite odd since customers are usually only entertained outside, over a lonely table on one side of the main room where a seemingly bored personnel took or released items.
The aura Monique emanated is, by itself, note worthy. She's petite, fresh-looking, calm, pretty (or, make that beautiful), assuring, and very pleasant. She manifested a personality that could very well be "best practice" in my book on conduct of customer relations officers all over the world.
Going back, Monique had me sit in the lounge area while she got my camera. In a minute she was having me test the unit. She even showed me the culprit for my camera's SD card slot malfunction: a thin fin not more than a quarter of an inch long that belonged to the brittle Toshiba SD card that went with the cam when I got it. She then had me sign the release waiver and discretely handed me a paperbag.
MONIQUE: This is also for you, sir Fritz.
FRITZ: What's inside? (taking a peek inside the bag)
MONIQUE: A calendar and a Post-it set, sir.
FRITZ: Are these for the troubles I caused when I sent my email of complaint to you, your regional office, and Taiwan? (acting stoic in my calm, normal voice)
MONIQUE: Did you send an email, sir? To whom did you address it to?
FRITZ: I got the address from your website. I even forwarded the mail twice to your regional office and Taiwan since I never got a word back the first time I sent it.
I then narrated everything I have written, including how the supposed international warranty compelled me to buy the Ixus, that it didn't say anywhere in the card and neither did the sales person in Taiwan warn me of a "warranty void in the Philippines" clause, that I had suggested for them to talk to each other and resolve the matter.
MONIQUE: Sir, Canon Taiwan's president actually raised the concern to our local company president. He was then the one who requested me to handle your case.
I gave a slow, seemingly unsure nod, hiding the reality that on the inside, my mind and the small voices inside my head are reeling in self-satisfaction. I have made the presidents talk. My efforts were fruitful, at least, for this particular problem for my gadget.
Still, I stand by my arguement that international warranties should explicitly state its limitations, if any, and not give consumers false hope as it is one of the primary factors that most would consider in making a purchase either here or anywhere else. Canon could say that items bought outside are relatively cheaper and that the premium they give to locally sold inventory would benefit local buyers with more added benefits. This is the exact same reason I bought my camera outside, because I know for a fact that it is cheap and I was hoping to still get the same benefit had my unit required servicing anywhere else in the world. Taxes and more tariffs apply to imported goods and that makes your Canon cameras here more expensive. We import the finished product whereas our neighbors manufacture theirs. It's as simple as it is logical and it's perfectly understandable. But then International should cover the world unless, and I'm repeating my self here, explicitly stated in their policy!
So, hey, Canon Philippines, get your act together on this issue now, will you? I won't be surprised if you get slapped by a lawsuit on a similar complaint in the near future. While you're at it, do give Monique a raise and a promotion. She's a keeper.
Since when should weddings be ultra breathtaking to be, at least, modest? Should a couple and their immediate families blow some quarter to half a million bucks for a decent day's event just so the union could be celebrated? In cosmopolitan Makati and the metro, its a sad and typical scenario. Hotel reservations, the florist, the orchestra, catered food, entourage's gowns, giveaways. The list goes on, depending on your taste, and the level of glamour you want to project. Another list of add-ons are necessary, though, should the couple or at least one of the two be a skull-mountain native look- and smell-a-like.
An officemate had her wedding just last Saturday. She was still working on debuging a newly launched system project two days before her big moment. She only have four months to prepare and arrange for everything. As expected, like clockwork to what I'd foreseen at least, there are still minor details left out barely a week to the event and that includes which music to play and when. Come to think of it, this detail isn't minor at all. If any, this should have been the focus of at least a week of the event organizer's time as it will ultimately dictate the mood for the entire affair.
Dreading to hear
Elvis Castello's “She” and some CD version of “The Way You Look Tonight”, “From This Moment”, “My Heart Will Go On” a.k.a.
The Titanic Song, and other predictably common tracks, I did a search and volunteered to take care of this aspect in exchange for the bride's virginity. I got a slap for a confirmation and I lowered my fee to peeping and videotaping their honeymoon moment. I never finished stating my counter offer when I got a kick in the balls.
FRITZ: You bitch! (groans) How cheap could I still possibly get?!
BRIDE: How about an unlimited helping at our reception's buffet table? That fair enough?
FRITZ: Hmmm... I need some more convincing. How about 10 MMS-sized video clips instead of a 2-hour video footage of your first night?
BRIDE: (completely ignoring my last statement, she inaudibly replied) I'm, um, not a virgin.
FRITZ: I had that coming. OK, since you've got dark armpits and that I pity you, you've got yourself a soddin deal! (clasping her hands with mine that still has traces of dried semen from a hot orgy episode I have gone to two weeks ago)
Getting the tracks that will make me forever known as that-guy-with-impeccable-style-and-class was entirely serendipituous. The bride initially wished for a string quartet to serenade the guests at the reception but that would cost them 23 grand more so I searched for
"string quartet" at
radioblogclub and found several hits including three
Coldplay tracks (
Yellow,
Clocks, and
In My Place) and
Madonna's
Like a Prayer rendered immaculately in something I'd never imagned possible for classical music. (Do click on the links for a preview of the track)
I got even more excited when I did and research and found out from
www.jr.com that there are nearly a hundred artists given string quartet tributes to date including
Tori Amos,
U2,
Alanis Morissette,
Gwen Stefani,
Good Charlotte,
Pearl Jam,
Limp Bizkit,
Incubus,
System of a Down,
The Foo Fighters, and
3 Doors Down. Several tribute projects are still in the pipes and are scheduled for release in a few months' time.
Sadly, I could not find a copy of the CDs locally. Not in
O Music Video,
Empire Records, nor
Music One. I pray they get them here soon. I got creative and came up with two CDs of classical-pop music which I'm sure every single one of her guests enjoyed. It had tracks like
The Cure's
Boys Don't Cry,
Guns N Roses'
Sweet Child O Mine, and
U2's
With Or Without You and
Sweetest Thing.
The bride, at the photo-session, told me, apart from her heartfelt thank you for my tasteful gift of glam, that several people had already asked her for a copy of the CD. I said,
"if they're beautiful and sassy, by all means, tell them my asking price. Do start from the virginity bit and work downwards. Should they fall short of my requirements, tell them to get it from amazon.com. Leeches!"She just smiled, momentarily catching a glance of my crotch area where my balls used to be.
Resources:
I placed a nifty jukebox at the right-hand sidebar of this site for your hearing pleasure. It has been defaulted to a non-playing track so first-time and returning visitors would not be shocked or turned off by the music if it isn't to their liking (though track 6 currently doesn't play). The playlist is dictated by the content-owner from www.poqbum.com as Top Hits so don't bitch-slap me with comments regarding my taste in genre. Scroll down this page, click on a track, and enjoy.
This thing here's Kodak's revolutionary offering: The EasyShare V570 due out this month. At a competitive price of US$400, it could take pictres with up to 5.0MP resolution among the following other great features:
- First of its kind digital camera with Kodak Retina Dual Lens Technology
- Features both ultra wide-angle (23 mm equivalent) and zoom capability (5X optical zoom range)
- Equipped with professional quality SCHNEIDER-KREUZNACH C-VARIOGON Lenses for exceptional clarity and sharpness
- Features two imaging sensors inside the world’s thinnest 5X zoom camera
When getting cameras, the lens should be one's primary consideration. When I bought mine, I had a hobbyist by my side to judge my options.
Schneider-Kreuznach has been long known to produce the world’s highest quality cinema projection lenses. I do not really know this from stock-knowledge so don't give me that you-are-such-a-geek look. I looked it up since I'd want to know what the all-caps-hullabaloo strategy is all about.
I surfed around for new cam models primarily because I broke my Ixus i5. The Toshiba SD card that came with it is apparently brittle so it's fins got jammed on the inside slot and it wouldn't anymore accept any foreign object. I was hoping to have it fixed here since I bought it in Taipei on the premise that it would be covered by the international warranty it came with. Just this afternoon, I went to the local Canon service center at Pasong Tamo, Makati and waited in the long queue only to be told that Canon Marketing (Philippines), Inc. does not honor international warranty. Yes, people, you could kiss your international warranty cards goodbye as it's worthless while you're in this country! You'd be charged P1,200 for service alone and you get to purchase the spare parts should there be a need. Pathetic, ain't it? Hell yeah! They think I'd just wait 14 days for the initial assessment and pay? Yes, but not without a fight.
I already wrote Canon Taiwan and the local Canon office via email. In it are pretty strong words like the extract I have below of my email for Taiwan:
Your products should have EXPLICITLY stated that the warranty is VOID in the Philippines!!! How could your offices not talk to have this resolved?! I want my warranty to be honored in the Philippines so do EVERYTHING IN YOUR POWERS TO HAVE THIS DONE!!!
...Your customers deserve this. I deserve this. I bought your product and I deserve the after-sales support that comes with my purchased unit!
And the portion below for the Philippine based office that I did with an aptly titled subject that reads,
"International Warranty void in the Philippines? What the f*ck?!":
...give me one great explanation why you do not honor international warranty, because pray to God, I'll have this escalated to your or the international head of Canon if I have to.
With everything said, I wish you a Happy New Year.
Bitches.
Ok, the email may not actually do me any good but making the concerned people crap their pants, agitated, remorsed, or even angry just makes my loss a lot more bearable. They may even hopefully get something out of this to the theme of: cross the line ONLY with stupid people, not the opinionated ones. Right.
Vengeance, albeit simple as mine went, is sweet.
As endorsed by a fellow graphic-novel addict, I scoured the depths of Makati Cinema Square to find me a copy of Immortel (Ad Vitam) and watching it gave me a glimpse to a bleak future where criminals are sentenced to cryogenic sleep, synthetic organs are as normal as vaccination complete with made-in-wherever-country labeling, and ancient gods are as horny as shit. Plus, it showed boobies. Just a set from one person but it's good enough coupled with the artistic way it was done. Right.
In 2095, set in downtown New York, a huge pyramid looms over the metropolis. In it, Bast and Anubis take out the verdict on Horus who is said to have been sentenced to death by his peers. As part of his last rites, Horus is given seven days to roam the world he helped create.
Death being imminent, he chose to make good with the little time he has by finding a compatible host body to help him procreate. The problem is, only a handful of human bodies could tolerate such intrusion. A certain Alcide Nikopol (played by Thomas Kretschmann who also played the hoarsely voiced Captain Englehorn in the latest remake of King Kong), serving years in suspended animation via cryogenics for having been subversive to stuff concerning substitution of synthetic organs in human bodies, practically fell from the sky to be Horus' temporary shell. With that done, Horus should only need to find a vessel for his seed. Not many beings in the whole expanse of the universe could get down with a god either so seven days is a very limited period for everything to happen as planned. Jill Bioskop (played by Linday Hardy) comes in the picture as just the right creature for impregnation as she is, after all, a powerful being born (or was she actually made) for this sole purpose.
There are some twists along the way as the plot thickens.
From start to end, the movie is engaging. It has the right blend of actors both CG and live. The CGI used to create humans though were less superior than FF7: Advent Children. Its storyline is conveyed in a pace similar to reading a graphic novel which may be why I truly liked it. Plus that it reminds me of Texhnolyze, a great anime series, that also toyed with the idea of humans possibly being androids in the future.
Enki Bilal did a splendid job directing the movie. It was, after all, based on his graphic novels La Foire Aux Immortels and La Femme Piège. As to who he is, I honestly haven't got a freakin clue but based on the storyline and his other works featured at his site, this guy is really talented. The movie's got mixed reviews, but I give it four hard-ass bitch slaps for artistry in cinematography, plot, pace, acting, and oh-so-well written script.
I Plead Guilty...
I plead guilty to temporary insanity when I allowed myself to splurge on equipment. Let me explain further.
The only sport I ever admitted to liking is wall climbing which I did on and off since 2004. It was when I posted my experience via this site that Ainna got excited to join me. Luckily, she got hooked and we scaled the walls of either Planet Rock (at CSA in Dasma) or Play Underground (at the 3rd Level Basement of Rockwell), when we're not doing real rock faces, weekly since July 2005. From then to now, we planned on getting our own gear for the sport. Problem is, it's hard to look for them in the Philippines. You have to either go to Hong Kong or Singapore to have a variety in gear options coupled with cheap tags.
Having the time to go around this holiday season, I went to Toby's in Glorietta and inquired on the rates they charge to customers who'd want to try out their wall (yes, they now have a scalable wall inside the store). It's cheap, at P30, but they do not have chalk so my sweaty palms would not last me long. While there, I asked if they sell any climbing shoes. They don't. The kindly attendant, however, told me to try out Bombproof Gear in Robinson's Galeria or Conquer in Robinson's Pioneer. Having little time left before all the stores close for new year's eve, I went to my closest option. So off to Pioneer I went.
They have a few Black Diamond harness in S M and L sizes at P2,900 for the padded waist model. I tried it on and hung over a wall to see if it felt nice. They also had Mammut brand climbing shoes in my size but verifying the model vis a vis its cost with Maman (pro-climber from Play Underground) proved it to be a ripoff since it's only a lace-up model with a P5k price tag. He said you could already get its more superior velcro-strapped counterpart at the same, if not cheaper, cost. I was itching to take home the harness but I did not have cash that time and the store does not accept credit cards. I tried to withdraw cash but the machine was offline. I only had enough for a chalkbag and Petzl belt so I went and bought those instead, leaving the attendant a promise that I'd get the harness the next day.
I pondered on the would-be investment when I got home. If I'm to get the gear, why not go for the best. If the price is somewhat comparable, I'd go for a Petzl. Now if only I could find new models locally.
I remember Habagat in SM Megamall used to have some harness so I decided to check their stocks out. Right enough, they do have Petzl harnesses but they only have one size for each model. I asked the attendant the difference between those they had on display to which he asked back where I'd be using them. After I told him I just do walls, he pointed to a lone model that's not so eye-catching. It's the second cheapest in their inventory at P4k. I tried it on and it fit well. Now, the thing about harnesses and shoes is it doesn't really matter what brand you get just as long as they fit and feel right. This one did. It's the Tetrax model and it's one of the latest offerings from Petzl (you may already know how much of a sucker I am when it comes to latest offerings). It is light-weight, has padded waist-belt, and has fully adjustable leg straps. It also has those loops for carabiners should I later want to go to the extremes of trying lead-climbing.
It has been an expensive weekend, all in the name of one great extreme sport. Now, if only I could go to Hong Kong soon and get my hands on some great shoes.
We have all seen the Joy dishwashing liquid commercial that claims to have the most washed plates per single pack sachet. We have also heard of the record breaking simultaneous kiss-off at what seems to be an annual tradition at Close Up's Lovapalooza (if I ever got the spelling of this word wrong, I don't and won't give a shit so don't bother correcting). Now, we have on Yahoo! News something equally mind-numbing. The country, by pooling an amazing 10,800 strong headcount comprised of gradeschool students from several schools in Metro Manila, tries to dethrone China of its 10,240 world record on "simultaneous brush-off." The pitiful children are taken alongside the Baywalk area, assuming this is what Yahoo purports to be the seaside Manila park area, to simultaneously brush their teeth to also promote the fight against tooth decay.
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