From diamonds to Project Utopia

Pictures of a supposed diamond-studded Mercedes Benz had been going around a while now. The email I got claims it to be the umpteenth car of Saudi Prince Waleed.

With Serena's signature for the Man Blog forums auto-rewinding and manifesting itself in my mind like those neon signs along Burgos Street in Makati (quoting the quote, it goes, "Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be. --- Rita Rudner,"), the following exchange happened between me and an officemate:

Midori X: Here, would owning this take you up to the wealth-level where you supposedly "lose all respect for humanity?"

Fritz: Maybe! But if I should become that rich, I'd be low key. I would not need to sport a diamond-studded car to announce it. Ever. Besides, it's already been done. I'll have for myself crystal-blue colored, diamond corneas. My irises, black diamonds. All diamonds must pass the clarity test with a perfect rating. That's internally flawless (IF) under 100x magnification, instead of the usual 10x. The operation would first have to be 100% viable, tested, and safe so I may still see with the 20/20 I have now. That length I'd have to go through just to get to feel how to see behind ultra-expensive eyes. Priceless.

Midori X: Holy guacul... guacum... guacomol... uhm... Holy avocados! Now, THAT is loaded! The stuff you could think of when you get to be filthy rich!

Fritz: I have already outlined what it is I would do with that kind of money: I'll make a fully-functional prototype of a Utopian City, scale 1:1, where its inhabitants live perfectly free of poverty, war, hunger, and the commonly corrupted democratic form of government. The experience will be rendered to the visitor in virtual-realistic hologram sequences. It will, beyond a feather of doubt, be a major tourist destination from day one of its initial opening. Spectators or visitors could walk around made-up streets and gaze at the most amazing of architecture constructed over a 10,000-acre lot poised in the midst of a barren land like the Sahara or Gobi Desert, where weather condition will be closely monitored and controlled. Details on culture and language will also be reflected in the way the made-up population of the city behaves and interacts (Absent-mindedly bump a virtual-reality rendered Utopian national and they say "sorry"). Visitors may take as long as they want inside the controlled environment as real lodgings are provided in a hotel-structure sitting at the center of the perfect city (hotel prices quoted separately from entrance fee to Utopia). What may seem to be undirected events within the city will be povided by an intricate web of programs generating sequences of random instances where probability of several occurences ever happening in concurrence is marginally infinitesimal (mathematically translated to come close to a ratio of 1 to a googleplex raised to a googleplex). A reset will be done after a period of exactly 5 years. A partition of the venue would be donated to science where experimets will be done on aetherlike-near-human subjects mimicing life. An alien-invasion will occur on the fifth year before the entire program is reset. Science-donated partition will not be affected by alien-invasion. Visa restrictions may apply when required by the destination country where Utopia is from the national of an originating country.

Midori X: I just have to say, veering away from your Quixote dream sequence, that that quote is so positive in all its sarcastic glory. I so agree.

Since I'm only making this thing up, I took it upon myself to explode my dream big time.

Labels: Humor, Vertigo

posted by Fritz @ 1:16 AM