Smart CSR Encounter

It would definitely be helpful if Smart and Globe were to add a service feature that would let us subscribers know of our remaining free-call-minutes via SMS or a call to their respective hotlines. The call I placed to inquire on my free-minutes proved that Smart is either too obsessed in other customer service features or they may just be plain stupid to know how to set this demographic or that they think that the less we know, the more calls we are going to make and the more profit they will thus get. What I intended to be a simple query turned out to be a shout-fest towards an unsuspecting halfwit disguised as a CSR for Smart's 24-hour hotline.

The CSR was noting down my so-called suggestion for a remaining-free-calls-balance feature when she told me it would not have mattered if they could not give me my free-minutes balance because I have already exceeded by plan, it being consumable. Consumable Plans ought to have a plan-subsriber eat away his peso-base-subscription amount to accomodate calls, SMS, MMS, and GPRS instead of the usual free-minutes alloted only for calls. I have wanted a consumable plan for the longest time but then I got my subscription during the one-time special promo they made in July 2004 which are basically unconvertible. I told her that would not be possible since I had been declined when I requested my plan to be converted for which she replied that it shows in my profile that my plan is, indeed, consumable. I reiterated the scenario saying it's impossible for this to happen. She then had herself excused to check on my concern offline.

She got back after Joss Stone finished her first track in my player. I would like to recount the incident in the fairest way I can, below. Note that we have already been conversing for quite a while before this transpired.

CSR: Sir, I'm correct, your plan is indeed consumable but only for calls...

FRITZ: a...wha...what would you mean by "consumable only for calls?"...(I could not help but stammer for lack of words to express my utter disgust for what she just said)

CSR: ...that your plan is consumable for calls only and not for our other services...

FRITZ: (irritated)... so you are saying that what I have is not a consumable plan!

CSR: Sir, we also use the term consumable for your subscription's case...

FRITZ: (fuming with anger)...eh sinasabi mong hindi pwedeng GPRS and SMS eh di ibig sabihin hindi sya consumable!

CSR: (keeping her cool)... hindi po sir, tama po ako, consumable pa rin po yun...

FRITZ: (ourtaged) ano ba naman ang aminin mong mali ka, eh sa pagkakasabi mong calls lang ang pwede sa flat-monthly basic rate ko eh di HINDI NGA CONSUMABLE YON!!! PUTANG INA NAMAN O! KALA MO SA LAHAT NG KAUSAP MO TANGA? Dahil nga sinabi mong hindi kasama GPRS and SMS consumption sa base in excess of call-usage eh HINDI CONSUMABLE YON! AYUS-AYUSIN MO PAGSAGOT!!!

CSR: (still keeping a trained professional half-wit tone) wag naman po kayong magmura at sumigaw, sir...

FRITZ: (voiced still raised to high-heavens) EH PINALALBAS MONG HINDI KO ALAM SINASABI KO EH! (a few seconds of silence) OK, ganito nalang, anong consumable plans ang meron kayo?

CSR: (still cool as ice) sa Addict Mobile and Smart Gold we offer these for new plans...

FRITZ: (calming down) And that includes GPRS and MMS and SMS and calls in lieu of just free-minutes right?

CSR: yes, Sir...

FRITZ: (back to more shouting) EH DI HINDI NGA SWAK SA DESCRIPTION NA YAN ANG STATUS NG SUBCRIPTION KO! BAT MO PINAGDIDIINAN NA CONSUMABLE ANG PLAN KO?!!... PUCHA (a while of silence but still in rage) ok just shup up, nothing good can come out of this... since I hardly use my phone for calls to consume my free minutes, would it be possible for me to still have free minutes and that my excess in your partial-unofficial-billing is attributable to my regular GPRS and other services usage, could that be true? (huminahon na tone)

CSR: ...yes, Sir...

FRITZ: Ok that's settled. Let me just get your name...your REAL FULL NAME... because I know you guys have the habit of giving out made-up ones in times like this...I'M SO PISSED right now!!!

CSR: Theresa CASTRO, Sir (with an emphasis on Castro, giving her an air of I've-got-nothing-to-fear-because-I-did-my-job-and-I-know-I'm-still-right)

FRITZ: (grabbing a pen and paper) ok, The...re...sa....Cas...tro... (jotting it down) ok thanks...

THERESA (CSR): may I help you with something else, Sir Fritz?

FRITZ: No, thanks, that'd be all (instead of saying, "um, may I just let you know that you were no help at all?!")

THERESA (CSR): have a good night, Sir Fritz, and thank you for calling customer care...

It is so forgivable to admit to a mistake, I would if she did. The argument was not really worth my cursing and shouting, but rage just took over me. And stupid people just get in my nerves much so if they keep on insisting that they are dead right.

I dialled my college barkada who is currently working with Smart and told her what happened, with hands still shaking of rage (sorry, Marichris, I know it's late and you also have a life and all, but I just called to tell someone of the experience. Thanks for listening and laughing at the CSR's blunder). She definitely agreed on my points that my plan could NEVER be consumable, and that it has been shoved right in their throats to remind the CSRs of the point. She also told me to surf their website to file the complaint.

I'm going down with post-anger migraine. My head is throbbing like hell.

posted by Fritz @ 12:58 PM